so dearly do i desire intimacy

i want to wake up beside you,

our naked knees together,

and touch your lips

and your eyebrows

and gently knead the sleep from your body

with my mouth

and fingers

and i want to tell you

with every quiver of sincerity my spine can muster

"i love you.

i love you

so much."

but so wholly does the thought repel me

and i am again a recessed tortoise,

a single bird on a monstrous-backed colossus

(it is best not to make assumptions here)